← back to list

Learning to Trust in the Love of the Father

Posted by Deborah Woo on

 

I’m a pretty joyful worshiper. Whether on stage or from my seat, I can usually be seen and heard bursting with praise for our Savior.  

There’s something about worship music that has always stirred my soul. As if words set to music are the language of my heart. Or as if rhythm, poetry, and melody are what I need to get out of my own way and lay down my pain, worries, and burdens at the feet of the Father.

Copyright: andreykr / 123RF Stock Photo

And there are some songs that, without fail, seem to resonate in my deepest places—bringing to the surface something I need to let go of, trust God with, be honest with myself about.

One of those songs is Good, Good Father. I love the simplicity of the chorus:

You’re a good, good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

For me, the first part of this chorus is easy to understand; the second part is not. How can God love me? Why would God love me?

I’m a doer, and I don’t think I’ve done anything to earn or deserve God’s love. If anything, I often feel the opposite. That I’m not making enough space for him in my life. That I’m not involved in enough church activities. That I’m not being the “best” sister, daughter, friend, or coworker that I could be. That I’m not living in my spiritual gifts. That I’m clinging to my own plans and desires.

So, every time, this chorus hits me like a wave.

You’re a good, good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

In this song I hear God saying to me, “Deborah, I am a good Father. That is who I am. And I say I love you. You are beloved. A precious daughter of the King, that is who you are.”

“Well, no, God,” I protest. “You are good. That I know to be true. You’ve given me a roof over my head, food to eat, a great community, that beautiful sunset yesterday, but me… I…”

“You are beloved.”

 “No, I’m broken. I’m stubborn. I don’t listen. I want to plan and do things my own way. I don’t know why you would choose me, love me. I don’t deserve it.”

“I love you just as you are because I made you. You cannot earn or lose that. You simply are. It really is that simple. As true as it is that I am good, it is true that you, Deborah Woo, are loved. It is true when you can understand and accept it, and it is true on the days you cannot. But the fact that you are beloved by your heavenly Father does not change.”

And so it echoes through my head. 

And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am…

Breaking down the walls of insecurity. Erasing the checklist in my mind of things I need to get right before God will give me the desires of my heart. Overflowing out in joyful noise in awe of the love of our King.

On the days I am not feeling as joyful, when I am really struggling to trust God with what is happening around me, I wrestle more with the bridge of the song than the chorus.

You are perfect in all of your ways...

“I don’t know, God. I don’t understand why things have to be this way.”

You are perfect in all of your ways...

“I just want a road map. A plan. I want to know it all works out.”

You are perfect in all of your ways to us.

“Okay, okay, okay. I have to believe in what I cannot see. To trust that your timing is perfect. Your ways are perfect. You are working for my good and preparing something for me far beyond what I can imagine.”

And, as I’m unburdened from wondering why things aren’t going according to my plan and reminded that God has something even better in store for me, I am sometimes almost speechless as we sing:

Love so undeniable I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable I can hardly think
As you call me deeper still into love, love

“I still don’t know, Lord, why you love me. And choose to be mindful of me. But thank you for calling me into deeper understanding of your goodness, of who you made me to be, of your love.”

You’re a good, good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am  

 

 

Deborah Woo has been attending The River since 2014 and enjoys serving on the worship team. She is a Bay Area native who grew up attending First Covenant Church Oakland, and has a bachelors in psychology from Azusa Pacific University. Deborah moved to San Jose to work for the nonprofit City Year, where she spent six years providing interventions and after-school programming for students in East San Jose and professional development for Americorps volunteers. She is currently an online masters student through Northeastern University and exploring God's next step for her in the social impact space.

 

Comments

to leave comment

Name: