The following church-wise safety commitments represent practical ways of honoring healthy boundaries. The intention of these guidelines is not to make us anxious or fearful. Rather, it is to help each of us play our part in cultivating a community of Christlike love for everyone.
Respectful touch is an important way to communicate belonging and affection in the family of God. But, these aims are only accomplished when touch is welcomed and accountable. “Welcomed touch” means that every individual is empowered to express what is comfortable and uncomfortable. In simple acts such as offering prayer, we make a practice of asking permission to touch a person’s shoulder. “Accountable touch” means that every member is empowered to communicate when boundaries are transgressed. It means that we are committed to being people who submit to words of correction. (Galatians 6:1)
Healthy communication is a critical part of our life together as a church. Regardless of the form of communication (written, verbal, or digital) we will make it a practice to be respectful and not mean, shaming, or cruel and only communicate what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. When we need to correct or admonish someone, we always seek to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15, 29)
In church spaces, it’s critical that our interactions with kids and youth take place in groups and/or in public. This is for everyone’s protection. With children, our guiding rule is at least 2 adults or 2 kids in any interaction. (2 adults with 1 kid or 2 kids with 1 adult works.) When feasible, we use a similar guideline with teens, but allowing for the importance of one-on-one mentoring or counseling, the guideline then is for all such interactions to be in clearly public spaces. One additional note: While we believe this protective wisdom is helpful guidance for all settings, we understand that families socializing together may amend these guidelines for their specific relationships.
Email The River's Safety Team (safety@the-river.org) if you have any concerns about how these commitments are being honored.
If you are interested in being part of the Safety Team, or to learn more about how to help the church be a safe environment for all, we encourage you to join the book group being hosted in the new year on Something's Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse and Freeing Yourself From It's Power by Wade Mullen.
In addition to these church-wide safety commitments, there are specific polices in place within our programs for children and youth. You can learn more about their policies below:
